So I have been wondering just what all the fuss is about regarding the length of a piece of string. It's in all the newspapers, there are websites dedicated to it, statues in all the major capitals of the world...this string length business is, well, big business.
There are schools of thought, entire philosophies, inner-city gangs and kooky cults all with their own take on the dilemma of the indeterminate nature of the string. Communities have be born, grown and passed on based solely on a belief in the length of the string. Hundreds have been sacrificed and thousands more killed in wars between rival belief systems.
To be honest, I reckon the unknown nature of the string's length has caused more problems than any other single question in human existence.
So to save us all eternal damnation from this cursed string/length conundrum I have decided to give you all the answer...it is simple, obvious, tasty, groovy, incredibly fruity and I hope it solves the world's problems. So here goes:
Q: HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING?
A: TWICE AS LONG AS IT IS FROM THE MIDDLE TO THE END
Now off you go and play in the sun and stoip all this silly string nonsense...have some jelly instead!